.. Yes mainly women ormen who dress or have dressed as women. People I feel might know whatit feels like to be me even though they don't know me. People I wouldnever meet in the real world. The "tick box" world. The binary "male"or "female", "gay" or "straight" world.In the real world I try to help the fatherless, people who are about tofall off the ladder and become homeless. Because I know what it feelsto be homeless. And I wouldn't want anyone else to feel like me.After a day at work and dinner with my girlfriend I have found thatthere has always been something therapeutic about stepping into a pairof panties and fastening a bra around my chest. What was it that was sorelaxing about rolling a pair of tights up my legs? Why did putting ona suspender belt and stockings somehow feel more feminine as I fastenedthe stockings to the straps than rolling on a pair of tights?What was so purifying about painting my fingernails and toenails withnail polish and applying a good. Now I draw in a sputtering, fearful breath. One foot now between my own, his right foot, kicking gently, spreading me apart by degrees. My hands go to the wooden crossbeam before me, as though drawn my a puppeteer's strings. Only the rest of my body shakes now. I want so much to scream out, to ruin this all by pleading for it all to end. My hands on the wood, worn smooth as leather with age and use, (I feel as though placed in stocks). My buttocks shove themselves backward - I have no method of control, no illusion of resistance. My ankles are now digging their sides into the hard wood underneath the s**ttering of hay. They are planted, firmly, some three feet apart. My ears hear my lips shuddering together, the mouth inside trying to make words. My back arches. I am now straight and stock still, my head an even plane from the top of my hair, dangling down around my face (now hidden) past my neck, down my back. The only place my body curves at any but the straightest of.
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