‘You must have been good if you were running the place.’ ‘It was easy enough. You know, pretty pictures, lumps of clay shaped like toilets priced at four thousand quid.’ The Boy laughed. ‘I like that. That’s funny.’ She paused. She hated compliments, how was she meant to respond without sounding like she had expected it? How did normal people respond? ‘Thanks,’ she said eventually, ‘I try.’ ‘I’ve just dropped out of uni,’ the Boy went on. ‘I was doing a course in art and design. Then it occurred to me that I was probably going to spend my life with lumps of clay shaped like toilets, but considerably cheaper ones than yours.’ She giggled. ‘You didn’t like them then?’ ‘Oh, I liked them, as much as you can. But they don’t make you much money, and I’ve decided I want to own a Porsche by the time I’m 30.’ ‘I’ll settle for a moped,’ she said. He grinned that grin again. ‘I like a girl with ambition.’ The Girl felt as if she was watching herself from ten feet away. Who was this person, who. .........What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to sort herself out. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had.
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