Today was the tip of the iceberg.I met a woman in a club last night who said she would show me a good time.We went outside and she ran a 40 meter dash in 4 seconds.So I’m rubbing away at this old lamp when WHOOOSH a genie appears as they do; true to form he says “What is your wish?”So after about 2 seconds thought I say “I’d like a new Ferrari please”“Sorry,” says the genie. “no can do - I’m the Lambourne genie”Captain Nemo’s submarine ‘Nautilus’ has finally been disarmed.It is now called the ‘Naughtyless’A Vicar was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.”He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so,. " What?" he asked incredulously."If I can sleep with you, two thousand pounds for the fine," Kitty said nervously. "For gods sake!" Paul protested, "You can't buy me!" You bought me, remember," Kitty reminded him, "I suppose I still owe you,"He looked down at her as she sat in her short denim skirt and white tee shirt, a very different Kitty to the naked slut he screwed in Soho."You'll get naked," he suggested, "Like in London?" If you like," she said."Then lets do it," he said, "The whole works blow job, anal, the works, everything on your whore's menu." I thought you liked me, why do you have to be so horrible!" she snapped and turned away."I used to respect you!" he said."Then we both know where we stand," Kitty said, "Goodnight," and she shut her computer and stood up to leave.He blocked her way and he reached out to hold her, "Paul!" she protested.She stood and waited, expecting his hands at her waist pulling her skirt down but instead he took her cheeks in his hands and kissed.
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