When a drug dealer doesn’t want you to have something because it so fucking bad for you. He tried to talk me into a half dozen other things. Even offered me a hit for free if I would do something else. Really bad sign…but then I know this old demon well. I wrestled it for half a year once. In the end he knew a guy that would sell it. He said he didn’t want to handle the shit. The fucker was selling every flavor of street grade shit but didn’t want to sell this? Very bad sign. The guy he knew had some…all but gave it to me. Hell the cigarettes cost me more. Sitting in my box, listening to the rain hitting the scrap of blue tarp, I open the little bottle. The ether smell of it is a memory that gives me a shiver. One by one I dip the cigarettes into it, holding it for a few seconds then bringing them out. I lay them down to dry out. Memory tells me it won’t take long. I wish I would take forever. The wet work done I take out the lighter and look at my trembling hand. A sound comes to. I didn't even answer her.Weeks went by. Bill did let Patti back into his life. I was glad for them. A few months later Patti told me she was going to have a baby. Both Patti and Pete kept close watch over me. They were uncertain who their father really was, me or their mom's lover. It made me feel good that they wanted me to be the one and I became closer to both. Pete found a girl and she is a lovely thing. They make a cute couple and are so much in love. I look forward to her being my daughter-in-law.I see Barbara rarely and always go out of my way to be civil to her when we do meet. Pete told me that she didn't go to the teachers' convention this year. I told him it was nothing to me either way. Barb and I did split our assets pretty fairly. The house where I had spent so many happy years with Barb was sold. I almost made a bid on it, but then I thought of living there and remembering that when Barb was with me, she probably had her mind on her lover.Patti and her mother talk a.
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