I'm on call 24/7 in case there's a computer problem. Fortunately, when I get these emergency calls it's normally a case of operator headspace maladjustment. More often than not I can go in, find the problem and fix it in ten minutes.I don't usually fix the problem in ten minutes. I don't want to make what I do look too easy. I usually screw around and spend a little over an hour so that it looks like I had to actually work. It helps when it comes time to prepare my bill. I often spend that time working with the operators, trying to teach them the error of their ways so that future problems can be avoided, though that isn't a part of my job. I don't just sit there watching the clock.It was a beautiful day. So I got on the Harley and rode down to the processing center. As usual, the problem was a poorly trained and not too bright employee in data processing screwing everything up. I straightened out the problem and showed the operator what she was doing wrong.Training these people. She put her hand up like a traffic cop and said ‘No! No one uses the front door except family and friends. Help goes around back.’ With those words, my blood pressure went from its normal 115 over 70 to probably 300 over 200. Help? Was she fucking kidding us? Here we are, 2 police officers in full costume, guns, badges, the whole bit, here at their request, and we were HELP? Not going to happen. I replied quite nicely, ‘Okay ma’am, when you locate your husband, have him call us, we’ll come back.’ And with that, I turned around, said ‘Come on Milt, we’re out of here’ and headed down the side walk. I could hear her sputtering and mumbling behind us as I walked away. Milt said ‘What are you doing? You know they’re friends of the old mans. We’re going to get fucked over this.’ ‘I don’t give a shit. Hired fucking help? Are you serious? I go through the back door for no one. Let’s go. They can call us later.’ We made it back to our cop car and were just about to get in, when we heard.
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