So, with my hair braided so it didn't frizz everywhere, my DDD's encased in a sports bra that gave support and comfort without that nasty wire that jabs you at every opportunity, my hips and butt tucked into a pair of not totally unsexy underpants (Remember Bridget Jones Diary? NOT the granny pants!) and the whole lot covered with a light but hopefully attractive emerald green summer dress, I took a taxi from my apartment, and fond myself in the liveliest part of town.I avoided a couple of bars because they had big male bouncers on the doors checking IDs, and the people going in were mostly couples and threes. I also avoided the rowdier places. I soon realised I was running out of options though. One place I noticed had a woman bouncer, and while she looked tough and was definitely turning away the rougher looking men, I at least one girl who looked younger than me go in without being challenged.So I figured, what the hell, she can only turn me away. I walked up to the door, not. I did not want to get naked for him and have him walk out of my life. He kept hinting that he had needs. "NO." I said staring into the webcam. I was shaking. I wanted to keep him, but to do that would mean to give him some kind of free freak show that I didn't want to do. We argued on skype and it was over. I went outside turned the A.C. on in my car and I was shaking. I was very upset. I had lost someone I loved months ago. My marriage was comfortable, but my husband just didn't treat me the way I wanted or needed. Could I get naked on the webcam again? Could I deal with this again. I knew in the end he would dump me. I had gotten my self respect back and here it was again another guy begging and hinting for free thrills to jerk off to. I went back in the house and I looked in the mirror. At 40 I was the most beautiful I had ever been. I had never thought highly of my looks, but I did resemble a famous movie star with dark hair and violet eyes. I put on my lac see through nightie.
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