Little did Inez realize that when she hit him, he became fully aware of his existence and, like a newborn, breathed air for the first time. In one act of creation, he was made into her man, sort of like the Book of Genesis re-envisioned on a Manhattan sidewalk. She was his master, he obeyed. Antoine enjoyed a brief fantasy of Inez reluctantly accepting a ticket for the transgression. In fact, he believed that speeding in the fast lane of a friendship, a bond that only a year earlier he had banished to exile in the land of platonic love, was punishable by 40 lashes. Inez’s face was still flushed from her brief act of violence, no matter how justified, and she apologized to Antoine. ‘Shall we eat now?’ he asked as if nothing had transpired. ‘Sure, c’mon,’ she said. She had never felt this turned-on before — not even during foreplay. But, this could be foreplay, she mused. ‘Now that’s the girl I used to know,’ he said, sliding his arm around her thick waist. Mmm, I think this is. "The bartender replied: "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"The pirate explained: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5.
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