Whole weekends disappeared from my memory. It was usually late on Sunday afternoons that I returned to my thoroughly-fucked body."I started hating myself. More and more guys gave me looks and winks. I got felt up in crowded elevators. Totally unknown men bought me drinks. So one night after having almost been raped by two teenagers, I summoned Estelle."I shook my head. The way she talked about Estelle as a separate person had almost begun to sound natural.Myriam swallowed. She threw away the abused purse. "I told her that I would kill myself if she did not back off. I showed her the razor blades I had bought. And the bottle of sleeping pills. It was the only weapon I had and she knew it. At first she tried to convince me I wouldn't dare. But we both know each other too well to take a risk."Myriam smiled weakly. The schizophrenia of her story made me reel — it felt like vertigo. My voice was almost a whisper. "You seriously considered suicide?"Her eyes focused. "Yes. I felt that my. Tomorrow I can worry about how I can cope with theworld. Ms. Merrill said they could straighten my hair if I didnot like it but what can I do about my arched eyebrows andpierced ears. But wait, tomorrow will be soon enough, right now Ijust want to enjoy how I look. Oh wow, did I really think that?What am I doing I should not be thinking like that! I started outtoday just to get some pictures and somehow all this happened andnow I look like a beautiful young woman. Janice had said theywere finished with the permanent wave I had wanted. I didn't comehere wanting a permanent wave, but now I am thrilled because theydid it to me. I can't go back to my normal life looking likethis, but oh God I love how I feel and look. "If you will come with me we will get you cleaned up for dinner with Ms. Merrill as she wants to speak to you." Janice smiled and said to me.I followed Janice back to the same dressing room where all ofthis had started, where she instructed me to again remove all ofmy.
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