”Ramirez paused, then nodded slowly. Helena took out the pack of cigarettes she’d had in the cell and produced two of them.“Well, Capitano, because I believe you to be a man of honor, I will show you the same. If I have your word that you won’t kill me until after I’ve said what I must to you, I will release you from my control and not do this thing that I can do to you again. Here, take one. They’re mine, not the poisoned ones, and it’s customary at a moment like this. If, after the cigarette, you still think I’m a danger to you and San Finzione, I’ll accept your decision and you may play your role in his treason if you still think it just. Do I have your word on this?”Ramirez nodded in the affirmative and snapped his holster closed. Helena nodded as well and picked up her cigarette, gesturing for him to do the same. He found he was able to move freely and took it. She lit both of them before speaking.“Now, to take care of the first point, despite what you, the Generalissimo, most of. I was seventeen that summer and even though I had a man’s body my mind was that of a shy teenager. I had never dated a girl and the few that lived in my neighborhood scared me with their giggles, bouncy boobs, and naked legs. As soon as I saw one, I would get a hard on and run away so they wouldn’t see. Later at night, I would masturbate alone in my bed remembering their soft looking skin and their tits hiding behind a T-shirt or tops.My parents joked about me ending up as a monk, and my grandfather at one time suggested I might be gay. I hated it when they brought up the topic of me and girls and would walk away while they laughed. It wasn’t my fault I was shy; I had just turned out that way. While my friends would go on dates to the movies or for dinner I would sit at home playing video games or watch videos on the internet about diving. The silent world under the surface was my escape, my hiding place where I could be myself without the pressure of being a teenager.As I sit here.
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