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It seemed innocent but she began coming back later and later. I wasn’t allowed to go to lunch until she came back and on this particular Friday she had been gone for nearly two hours. I had thought that maybe they were fucking but now it was just plain obvious. I was absolutely starving. ‘Fuck this!’ I thought. Just as I was about to grab my coat to quickly nip across the street, Ashleigh came back into the foyer. I was stood there just staring at her. She wasn’t smirking or pretending to act cool. She was bawling her eyes out. She just stood at the door looking at me as I looked at her. I could see the pain and shame in her eyes. She broke the stare and turned her head away shaking it before running towards the staff rest room. I grabbed my things and went after her. I could hear her crying. I didn’t really want to interrupt but I felt so bad. I didn’t feel like I knew her well enough to talk about the situation,. We got on well at work but that was it. I never spoke to her outside. " Looks like it."She started walking back towards the table where we'd been sitting, but I grabbed her hand."Thank you for being so good to her," I said simply.She said nothing for several seconds, then she just nodded."No, really," I persisted. "She needs you on so many levels, and you're there for her."She sighed, as I took her in my arms."It's hard to know if I'm doing the right thing," she explained. "Therapist, mother, sister, friend, lover ... which am I supposed to be for her? I keep trying to decide?" Why decide? Why can't you be all of those things, at least for now? She needs all of the different you's – all of who you are to her. Look, she has to overcome this bipolar thing, but she also needs to catch up on growing up. She seems like she stopped growing, in some ways, when she lost her mother. She needs the last 12 years of mothering desperately. And as she catches up, she's going to need a friend that's as close as a sister to her."As for being her lover, who better to.
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