I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered "the local cafe serves breakfast until 11."Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."A man is seeking to join the Vancouver Police force. The Sergeant doing the interview says:"Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take. I need to have enough left in me to do her some good or she may dump me for some one else and I need to keep her around at least until Gail comes back from visiting Tom." Gail? What does she have to do with things?" I would have thought that Tom would have filled you in during your bedroom talks." He didn't tell me anything about Gail other than you were doing her along with Mary."I explained the deal Tom had worked out concerning Gail before he left."That's another reason that I'm thinking apartment. Motel rooms put a hell of a dent in my wallet." You already know I'm against the apartment idea. Let me think on it for a bit. Maybe I can come up with something."Pauline and I had dinner at Gregio's and then we went to the new teen club. Because there was no revenue from alcohol sales there was a fifteen dollar per person cover charge, but as far as I was concerned it was worth it.The live band was great and Pauline and I had a marvelous time. The only dark spot was that about an hour.
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