Or at least tried to.But Paul is now my life. And Natalie is actually proud of me for that.I still see her as much as I can. And see Jayden as well. But I waslooking back through all this journal and was struck by both the changeand how... calm it's been. Ms. Cambrai was so central to my life for solong that I couldn't imagine a day going by without seeing her. Andcertainly not a week going by without being in her arms.I relish the times that we do get to spend with each other but I don'tyearn for them the same way anymore. I yearn for Paul. It's like aswitch got flipped on for him at the same time as the switch for Nataliewas turned off. I don't love her any less. I don't lust for her anyless. I'm just at ease with being focused on Paul. It means the worldto me to make him happy. My heart just melts when he smiles at me. Ilove making him smile at me.Day 511:Not much time to write today. We started things off like usual - we bothclimb out of bed and head off to our. He reasoned that he'd be able to hear movement in the bedroom directly overhead and maybe even get some work done. After choking down eggs and toast, he poured himself another cup of coffee and called his office. His assistant answered on the second ring. "Northern Lights Productions," she said.Greg smiled. He should have known she'd be the first one in the office. "Good morning, Sally," he said. "I won't be in this morning. Maybe not at all today. Megan is ill." Oh, poor Megan," Sally said. "Nothing serious, I hope." No, I'm sure she'll be better tomorrow. In case anyone needs me, they can call my cell or send me an email." After the usual pleasantries, Greg hung up and dialed Megan's office. He left a message on the voice mail, identifying himself and saying that Megan wouldn't be at work today. Then he turned his attention to the pile of scripts in front of him.Greg got through five scripts and two pots of coffee. He stood up, stretched and yawned. The clock read 10:30. He thought.
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