.. I need more.I've really made a mess of this. I've alerted him to my intention. I've stupidly caused him to doubt me. There is no way I can indulge myself if he is watching me closely. Why did I have to warn him? What kind of fool am I? I've just made it that much more difficult to have an affair.I've already made up my mind. I'm going to do this. I've just had a bad start. A poorly chosen strategy. I have to step back and rethink what to do.As I wandered through the house, I noticed the door to his study was open and he was no longer there. I tried the living room and then the kitchen, but he was nowhere to be found. I looked in the hall closet and noticed his windbreaker was missing. He had left. Where had he gone? Would he be back tonight? I could feel the fear in my stomach. This was turning into a nightmare.I poured myself and strong gin and tonic and continued to pace through the house. Howard didn't have a cell phone, so there was no way to call him. Would he answer even if. There’s no reason for that to change.’ Tony had looked relieved and, from that day on, their relationship had been more like housemates than step-mother and step-son. They had similar senses of humor, so their conversations had almost immediately fallen into an easy banter. One-liners flew like bullets in a war zone, each trying to top the other. It was during the previous year, however, that she and Tony had bonded to become genuine friends. Her father had died suddenly of a heart attack. He had been, to all appearances, healthy as a horse with no history of heart trouble. The abrupt loss had devastated her. Roger had done his best to be a comfort. In his way, he had been sympathetic and attentive. But, his long hours at work made it difficult for him to be there when she really needed him. During that time Tony had become her pillar of strength. He had sat listening to her talk about her father, and held her when she could no longer force back her tears. He had done what Roger.
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