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“No one has ever said that I was motherly before.”“I wonder why,” Sean said.His mother said, “I don’t know. I do have tosay that I really liked that article.”Sean asked, “You don’t think that bit about you being engaged in a sex party was in bad taste?”“It is better that people think that then having them learn the truth,” his mother said.“Why do you think that having people believe you were having a sex party with Suzie’s parents is a good thing?” Sean asked. He could only imagine what Suzie had experienced at school that day. It was tough enough being a teenager without having an article in the newspaper about your parents being swingers.His mother said, “Can you imagine what would happen if people found out there were leprechauns running around in our backyard? We’d have so many people chasing them that Suzie’s mother and I would never have a chance of catching Liam.”“That actually makes sense,” Sean said.“I knew you would understand,” his mother said with a smile.“How did Dad. . and dick ... to heal enough to stop scaring babies, small children and the blind.I got out of the hospital February 14, 1996 ... the day Microsoft released Service Pac 1.I looked like a million bucks ... I should ... the company insurance spent that much and more making sure I was functional. The plastics doc kept his promise, but I felt like the dog my dad used to sing about.Where, oh where, has my little dog gone?Where, oh where, can he be?With his ears cut short, and his tail cut long,Oh bring back my doggie to me.About my dad singing? Gravel in a tin can.Mom was the one with perfect pitch ... flat.Six months getting my face rehabilitated had left me with a firm commitment to the proposition that all food is not created equal ... The first building to the left of the hospital property was the most popular Mickey Dees in town.The drive home was a typical winter drive ... idiots all over the roads. But I made it safely ... I took a cab.My house was warm, dry and looked after ....
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